Why Become a Speaker?

By Dana Bristol-Smith

So many people want to become speakers. They think it's a great way to earn a living, be the center of attention, and live glamorously.

After being a speaker and trainer for the last 10 years, I have a different opinion.

I believe that the only reason to become a speaker is to empower and educate others. If our content isn't doing that we shouldn't be speaking in public!

Unfortunately we've all heard speakers who had style but not substance and authenticity.

Speaking is a service that we provide that needs to be delivered as such. If we are lucky enough to make our living from speaking, we should be serving others through our work.

I ask these questions of speakers and wanna be's:

1. Is what you are saying truly important to others, humankind, the planet?
2. Can people use your message to make their lives better?
3. Are you willing to look your audience members in their eyes and speak to their hearts?
4. Are you willing to be vulnerable and share your real self with your audience?

Here's to you courageous souls who dare to be real! My hat is off to you!

What Does Google and Facebook Say About You?

by Dana Bristol-Smith


Personal disclosure seems to be the theme or fad of the moment. Is it here to stay? And, do we really want everyone to know everything about us? In the past couple of weeks I have learned this news from some of my Facebook friends through their posts:

• One had a massive heart attack
• A 14-year old had a stomachache
• A colleague's sibling had died
• A grandchild was born
• Someone had pizza for dinner
• Someone else had cereal

This trend of casual disclosure of life's significant events, (not having cereal for dinner) has me worried. It seems that teens and 20 somethings using Facebook and MySpace don't care a lot about who knows what about them (as long as it's not their parents).

As parents and grandparents have invaded Facebook and other social networking sites and aren't going away any time soon, some of the disclose everything habits have taken hold of them too.

I'd like you to consider that your Facebook, MySpace page, LinkedIn, or Blog is an online presentation of who you are. They are in fact, the first place that potential employers now look to see if you are a fit for their company. Even if you are seeking a promotion at your current employer, it's so easy to check you out online, that you should be cautious about what can be found.

Want to check out your online presence?
Here's a fun exercise: Google your name and see what results come up. You'll see what's out there for everyone to see. Is it what you want the world to see and know about you?

There used to be a caution about what we write in emails. We were told not to write anything that we wouldn't mind seeing on the front page of the New York Times. We've all seen the embarrassing and fraudulent situations that have come to haunt politicians and company executives because of what they wrote via email.

Let's use the same caution with our online social networking.
You do have some control about what is online about you. If you are using Facebook, go into your Privacy Settings area under the Settings tab. You'll see that the default settings are for full access to your page and all of your information by EVERYONE. Do you want anyone who goes looking to see all of your posts, friends, photos, birth date, etc.?

You can also control your settings in LinkedIn to the extent that you want people to be able to see your connections.

Spend some time thinking about what you want others to see about you. Select different levels of access for your friends and family versus complete strangers.

Take charge of your online presence now.
Just as you would for an in-person presentation - think about and plan how you want to present yourself to the world, potential employers, potential dates, and others.

I'm not meaning to sound paranoid, however; the world is watching and listening to everything that you say and write. Be thoughtful and careful out there.

The Two Elements of a Great Presenter

I love it when I read someone who shares my beliefs but is bolder in expression of them than I am. Author, Seth Godin has once again nailed it when talking about how presenters best connect with their audiences. He comes right out and says " The presenter who loves his audience the most, wins." Thanks, Seth for your love! Dana

By Seth Godin

1. Respect (from the audience)
2. Love (to the audience)

There are no doubt important evolutionary reasons why this is true, but in my experience, every great presenter earns the respect of the audience (through her appearance, reputation, posture, voice, slides, introduction, etc.) and captures the attention of the audience by sending them love.

Love takes many forms. I love you enough to teach you this. I love you enough to help you. I love you enough to look you in the eye. Or, in the case of rock and roll presentations, I love you enough to want to engage in various acts with you, right now, backstage.

Margaret Thatcher was a great presenter, even though she had none of the glib charisma people expect from someone with that title. That's because people (even those that disagreed with her) respected her before she started, and they understood at every moment that her motivation was to motivate and improve the lives of those she was presenting to.

In the famous interrogation scene in Basic Instinct (link not included so no one yells at me), Sharon Stone does a brilliant presentation. She instantly earns (a sort of) respect from the cops and their undivided attention at the same time. She replaces love with sex, and it works.

Tony Robbins is considered an astounding presenter for a similar reason. His stage presence and reputation and energy and sheer size earn him respect, and his generosity and complete connection with the audience is received by them as love. The result is a connection far bigger than the content alone would account for.

If you have love but no respect, you're a lounge singer. Fail.

If you have respect, but no love, you're like one of the rare self-promotional talks at TED. Fail.

Consider this clip from Patton. In 28 seconds, George C. Scott delivers both.

When you create a presentation, think about what your status will be as you begin the presentation. What can you do to prewire, to earn more respect from the start? How can you be introduced? Lit? Miked? What can you wear? If your reputation doesn't precede you, how do you earn it?

Don't apologize at the beginning of the talk. For anything. Don't hide in the dark. Don't hide behind a wall of bullet points.

And then, as the talk (pitch/presentation/interview) begins, don't focus your energy or concern on yourself. It's not about you. It's about them.

The presenter who loves his audience the most, wins.

What is Success?

Debbie Lousberg, Women's Leadership Institute coach, helps job seekers find out what they really want to be doing when they are in job transition. I appreciate Debbie's thoughts on success and want to share them with you.

From Debbie:

Recent news has got me thinking about the definition of success and I bet many people are changing theirs in light of our changing times. Personally, and up to now, mine has been focused on the achievement of that "big hairy goal". Now, however, I'm paying attention to the small steps and realizing it's not an all or nothing kind of thing. Maybe that end result won't or can't look exactly like what I have in mind, but I can sure learn to enjoy the journey!

Take a look at others' thoughts on success:

Quotables:

"Success is found in the journey, not the destination."

--Anonymous

"Try not to be a man of success, but rather to be a man of value."
--Albert Einstein

"If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all."
--Anna Quindlen

"The man of virtue makes the difficulty to be overcome his first business, and success only a subsequent consideration."
--Confucius

"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it."
--Henry David Thoreau

"The temptation to quit is greatest right before you succeed."
--Chinese saying

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
-- Winston Churchill

This week: Revisit your personal definition of success and see if it still holds true. If not, use one of the above quotes to inspire what resonates more with you. The beauty of success is that its definition is of our own design. We get to choose and change it when we want.

Here's one more I especially like:

"Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time."

--Arnold H. Glasgow

Have another success quote you want to share? Send it to me and I'll include in a future message.

Have a great week!
Debbie

Debbie Lousberg

Career Coach & Outplacement Consultant

Lousberg Unlimited is a career services company serving individuals and organizations with managing their career transitions, career paths, and workplace development.
Call today for your free consultation! 760-941-5166 or visit LousbergUnlimited.com

© 2009 Debbie Lousberg and Lousberg Unlimited. All rights reserved.